Mourning the death of my father

In memory of my father Bill Frank

“Your parents are dead. Regardless of whether their death was sudden or expected, hearing the news or being there with your mom or dad in their last minutes is a shock to your system. Life will never be the same without them. ” How do we change after we lose our dads? Clea Simmons

As a child, I was afraid that I would lose my parents. I was not ready to be overwhelmed with all-consuming grief. As soon as my father passed away, my whole family structure changed. My father was a link in the family. He was a warm, loving man who treasured his three children and loved his wife dearly. He was always ready to talk and give advice. My dad wanted to protect his children, no matter how old we are, he always tried to help. He was an intelligent man with rich wisdom. I clung to most of the words when he gave me advice. For many years, most of his advice was immediate, sometimes he missed. It is true that he was a man. but in my eyes he was a super hero.

I often ask how can this be? I just can't believe my father is gone. Now I have to adapt a new approach to the world. A world without my loving father. I feel overwhelming grief. I have lost part of my heart, my best friend and my mentor. For the past twenty years I have been talking to my father every day. I would enjoy our conversations. The last fourteen years of my father’s life, he suffered from several illnesses. My father rarely talked about his dispositions and fears. He was the bravest man I have ever known. As my sister always says, my dad, my hero! No one can take the place of my father. No one will ever love me like my dad. No one will ever be my best friend like my dad.

My mom really suffers from grief. She experiences mental and physical symptoms. She eats poorly, does not like any activity and does not want to move forward without her husband. My parents have been married for sixty years. My mother always said that she enjoys her husband’s company more than anyone else in the world. My parents had true meaning for marriage, friendship, illness, and health. Throughout the difficult times of my parents, they stayed together and stayed together, the best team I have ever seen.

I feel my own sorrow. I wake up almost every night thinking that I am now without a father. I have lost interest in most of everything and everyone. I miss my father more than words can express. I know in my heart that my father would like me to enjoy my life. However, I simply cannot imagine life without my father. I continue to hear the words in my father's prayer that he wrote. My father did not want the rabbi (stranger) to talk about his life. My father talked about his childhood in Brooklyn, the love he felt for his family, and how painless he would be. Moreover, my father wrote in his Eulogy that he was not afraid of death, because he believed that there was another dimension that we experience in the afterlife. In the afterlife, he stated that during the holidays you can find him playing golf at Pebble Beach, and he will wait for his wife and family forever. I will never forget the words in praising my father. My sister, my brother and I took turns reciting his beautifully written prayer. We cried and laughed when we read about the man who gave us life and unconditional love! My father told me about Eulogy, which he wrote, and he made me promise that one or all of his children would read it. My father said that I hold you responsible for this. He also reminded me that he wanted to be cemented. He did not want his children to be burdened by visiting him at the cemetery. My father got his wishes, I did it

I had to be ready when my father died in 2016 from heart failure. I should have been ready to say goodbye. After all, my father was eighty-one years old, and he had been ill for quite some time. At my age I had to be ready. My father had severe heart disease for many years, had a triple bypass operation, and his heart was extremely weak due to an unknown massive heart attack that he suffered many years ago. Doctors called him a miracle worker. The doctor believes that his life expectancy after surgery will be 5 years. My father overcame all difficulties, he really was a miracle. Therefore, I had to be ready. My father’s health was rapidly deteriorating before my eyes, and for the last six months of his life he was in the hospital and left it with complications caused by heart failure at the end of his life. My father had a heart pump less than seventeen percent. The last days he spent in the hospice at home and in the hospital, so I had to be prepared. My family and I knew that the end would come, so I had to be ready. On the contrary, I was not ready, I was devastated to the limit.

When a parent dies, we must be prepared for this normal departure from life, or at least be more willing to accept it when this happens. As adults, we must pull ourselves together and move forward. Conversely, the death of one of the parents can be extremely difficult for most if you had a good relationship with your parents, and even if you do not have a good relationship. Although I am an adult, the death of my dear father was devastating and caused considerable unrest.

One year has passed since my father died. I feel sad most of the time. I constantly think about my father’s long illness and his struggle for life. I force myself to move forward and go through my all-consuming grief. I try very hard to focus on being thankful for the time we spent together and enjoy all the wonderful memories. Sometimes I get distracted and return to the sadness of his death and his struggle to stay alive. I learned that grief comes and goes. I realized that grief is a constant feeling that never disappears, it changes. Sometimes I accept the death of my father and feel peaceful, knowing that he is in pain, and sometimes it seems to me that my heart is breaking. One thing remains the same; I miss my father every single day. On the day I lost my father, my world changed. Now I have to learn to adapt to life without him.

My father was truly the most powerful person I have ever known. My father was extremely courageous and selfless. Throughout his long illness, he rarely complained. My father never wanted to be a burden for his family; he never wanted his family to suffer from health problems. I sincerely believe that my father’s strong will and stubborn nature helped him to survive for many years longer than his doctor had predicted.

For most of my life I had a great relationship with my father. In the early years, I had a unique relationship with my father. I was like a son whom my father never had until I was 9 years old when my brother was born. My father taught me how to play baseball, basketball and golf. I was a real tomboy. My father taught me to play so well that I was a better athlete than most boys in my area. Each year for fourth graders, my gymnasium sponsored the Olympic holiday. When I reached fourth grade, my physical education teacher chose me as one of the four captains of the Olympic Games. My father was so proud of me. For many years I continued to play sports. I was on the high school baseball team, and in college I played the men's racquet ladder. At thirty I begin to play golf. My father was the best teacher. He was an excellent golfer and for the most part was patient. My father taught me so well that I joined the AT&T Golf League and played a respectable game. Over the years, my father and I have loved to play golf together. For all the years that we played together, I never scored lower than my father. My dad always won! I like that my father always played to win, even if it meant beating his daughter. It made me better because I expected that in every situation I would do my best.

My father was very fond of sports. He played baseball for the Layfette School in Brooklyn, New York. He was a terrific pitcher with a strong quick ball and a crooked ball. My father proudly called Sandy Kovacs the famous Yankee baseball player as his partner. My dad was such a good pitcher that the Yankees recruited him to play in his Premier League for a year until he tried himself in the Yankee Premier League. After serious thought, my dad refused the opportunity to play in the Yankees major league.

At heart, I know that my dad would like to take a chance and play in the Yankees. My dad tried his best to get into the big leagues. Instead, my dad put the family first. My parents just had a newborn girl (my sister), and my father had to ensure that his family was financially taken care of. The salaries in the minor leagues were low, and there was no guarantee that my father would go to the big leagues. Instead, my father got a job where he could build a future and earn more money to take care of his family.

My father and I were best friends from five to twelve. My dad took me to school almost every day, we spent Saturday evenings together, went to the cinema, went in for sports or just had lunch. My father loved to relax with his family. One of our best holidays was in the Disney world in Florida. We were one of the first families to stay at a Polynesian hotel and resort at Disney World. It was a great hard vacation. We stayed for two weeks in a beautiful hotel, went to the Disney World theme park every day, went swimming every day, and went shopping. My parents went all out on this family vacation. My sister, brother and I talked about how great this vacation was for many years.

When I was thirteen, my relationship with my father changed. I wanted to leave my tomboys behind and chat with my friends. I became interested in fashion, makeup and guys. It was not good to hang out with my parents. I know it hurts a lot, my father. For many years he talked about how we grew up as a teenager and how he missed our special time together. I would do everything to turn back the clock to enjoy my teenage years with my father.

My father and I regained my first year at college. I went to a university in Washington, DC. My father often visited my mother. I would go home on Jewish holidays and all other important holidays to spend time with my family. As a child, I was always closer to my father. My dad was calm, and my mother was tough. I could talk to my father about anything. We had a lot in common, we loved cars, sports and films. We also enjoyed playing golf together. At thirty, I had a relationship with my mother. This is a close relationship, but they are different from my relationship with my father. I am just more open with my father, I feel that my father is more open and less critical. In any case, I love both my parents.

My father was unique in many ways. He was a true entrepreneur, who throughout his life owned several enterprises. My dad owned a successful business and a failed business. He had the courage to take risks and the strength to overcome any failures in the business that he experienced. My father was incredibly strong, he definitely had mental stability. Sorry, I did not inherit my father’s assertiveness, but I inherited his mental stability. I remember how my father taught me to try my best in everything that you do, and if you fall, stand up, brush yourself off and move forward. He always told me that no matter what profession I chose, if I do my best, and I am happy. It was a wonderful lesson in life that I learned from my father. We all had life's ups and downs, but not all of us can survive the storm. My father taught me in difficult times to take a deep breath, regroup and move forward. Throughout my life, I have always been able to overcome difficulties, except when my father died.

I cherish the memories and life lessons that my father taught me. My days are full of sadness, except when I recall all the great times that I had with my father. Of course, I experienced difficult times when I grew up with my father and family. Despite this, I had a great childhood, and I enjoyed the adult relationships that I had with my parents. My father was the most understanding, compassionate, patient and encouraging person, especially when it came to his wife and three children. I could discuss everything with my father. My father was a smart person, so I got great advice, wisdom and understanding. In truth, now I don’t have a friend like my father to support me. Of course, my mother supports, but she is not so compassionate or understanding. My mother always said: "You and your father are the same – you are gentle." I take this as an addition, my father and I are kind and gentle.

When I was little, my father took my sister, brother and my cousins ​​to McDonalds for lunch almost every Saturday. My father loved junk food. He drank more cola and ate more chocolate, donuts, and ice cream than anyone I know. Surprisingly, he was not heavy. He had a medium build on a 6-foot 1-inch frame. He was tall with dark hair that was always in place, he had a well-groomed mustache, and he had a sense of style. I think his stylish looks were the result of his career. He worked in New York on 7th Avenue, which was known as the clothing district. I was always embarrassed when my friends talked about how handsome my father is and how well he dresses.

I remember how my father and my uncle Georgie took us on a plane in my uncle's 6-seater plane. My father had a pilot license, and he was fond of airplanes. My father and uncle were brave devils, they were stunt pilots. We flew upside down and made crazy eights over my parental home. My sister and I were sick. My mother was outside in the backyard, watching us fly wildly in the sky. Her heart was in her stomach. My sister and I were so grateful that we landed safely at a small airport, about 15 minutes from home. We could wait to fall to the ground. After this day, my sister and I never flew with my father or uncle again.

Every day I remember the time spent with my father. I try to keep these memories – I do not want them to disappear over the years. I want my memories to be vivid, I want to keep them and never forget about all the good times that I spent with my father. My father is always with me in my heart. I am trying to learn a new way to communicate with him. I am desperate to see how he looks, how he speaks (with a Brooklyn accent) and how he will move. I am desperate to preserve his physical being while I continue to speak with him in another area. I pray that he visits me in a dream or makes me understand that he is doing well. I pray that I feel his presence around me. I pray that he will feel his family around his soul.

The life lessons, values, and traits that I learned from my father are invaluable. What my father taught me lives the way I lead my life. Thanks to my father’s teachings, I always try to become better and better. I continue to make charitable contributions to my father. According to Jewish tradition, charity honors the souls of the dead. Charity is not limited to Jewish organizations. I donated to the American Heart Association in memory of my father and other non-Jewish charities. Throughout my life, I promised to make charitable donations in memory of my father. Jewish tradition believes that charitable donations in memory of the deceased loved one will raise their status in the heavenly world.

I am not a religious person, I consider myself spiritual. I really pray that there will be an afterlife where I am reunited with my father. I have a hope that this is true. My aunt (my father’s sister) passed away six months after my father. My aunt had a terrible five year battle with lung cancer. She was very similar to my father. She was brave and strong in her fight against lung cancer. She, too, barely complained. My father's family consisted of strong people who weather the storm with strength and dignity. I admire this special feature.

My aunt Gale just loved my father. She thought he was the closest to Gd. She admired his mind, his risk, his charm and how he loved his family. Я пошел навестить мою тетю Гейл в хосписе. Она едва могла говорить, она лежала в кровати и почти не двигалась. Мой дядя сказал Гейл, "ты знаешь, кто посещает?" Моя тетя быстро ответила: «Билли, мой брат и его дочь». Она звучала очень убедительно, я верил, что она действительно видела моего отца. Через два дня после посещения моей тети она скончалась. Я держусь за эту память, так как она дает мне надежду, что действительно есть загробная жизнь, и что я воссоединюсь со своим отцом.

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